“Change is disturbing when it is done to us, exhilarating when it is done by us.”
-Rosabeth Moss Kanter-

I’ve been sitting with that quote for quite a while. Not because it’s clever, but because it’s true — and I’ve lived it from both sides.

There have been times where a new policy or practice was mandated, but it didn’t reflect the ideas of our team – change done to us. There’s been other times when tough decisions needed to be made in the budget. Instead of mandates for adjustments, our team was asked to make recommendations to get to a certain number. Still hard, but change was done with us. There are changes that I had no control over, yet how I responded shaped the transformation on the other side. And there have been moments when a flash of innovation has hit me and I decide to change my ways of doing things – it is exhilarating as Kanter calls out in her quote.

Those experiences plant a question I’ve continually explored: How does change actually happen — the kind that lasts, that transforms rather than just disrupts?

Over years of walking alongside leaders, teams, and organizations in the middle of hard transitions, a pattern began to emerge. Not a formula. More like a fingerprint — the shape transformation tends to take when it’s honest, sustainable, and grounded in something real.

I call it the Theory of Change, and it moves through five connected stages: Awaken, Align, Activate, Adapt, and Amplify.

They aren’t steps to check off. They’re more like seasons — each one holding its own gifts, its own discomfort, and its own invitation.

AWAKEN is where it starts — not with answers, but with new eyes. It’s the moment we begin to see the seasons in our own story with clarity: the assumptions we’ve carried, the possibilities we’ve overlooked, and the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

ALIGN is about integration. As awareness grows, we have the opportunity to connect our strengths, values, meaning, and purpose into something coherent. This isn’t performance — it’s the quiet work of becoming consistent, of letting the inside and outside of our leadership tell the same story.

ACTIVATE is where insight meets practice. This is the uncomfortable, courageous part — doing things differently, leaning into the learning edge, and discovering that the skills we need are often already present within us, waiting to be called forward.

ADAPT is what keeps the journey alive. Real transformation isn’t a straight line. We adjust, we reflect, we recalibrate. Adapt is how we stay in the process rather than abandoning it when the first version of change doesn’t land perfectly.

AMPLIFY is perhaps the most quietly powerful stage. It’s the recognition that our transformation — when it’s genuine — becomes an invitation for others. Not through pressure or demand, but through the influence of a life visibly changed.

Running through all five stages is a quiet thread of reflection. Without it, change stays on the surface. With it, transformation goes towards the core.

What I’ve seen again and again is that change done with us — change we have agency in — generates energy even through the difficulty. It doesn’t eliminate the hard parts. It gives them meaning and contributes to our story.

So, here’s my question for you:
Where on this journey do you find yourself right now?
Notice it. Sit with it and maybe write it down.

Are you just beginning to awaken? Still trying to align? Deep in the discomfort of activation? Whatever stage you’re in, you don’t have to navigate it alone — and you don’t have to have it all figured out to take the next step.

The journey begins where you are.

One courageous thought can interrupt old patterns and invite a new future.

Lets connect if you would like a thought partner as you continue your journey.